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Being a belated Monday Update…

Saturday was spent in babysitting my niece and a significant chunk of that time was spent with her sleeping on my chest, while I watched The Goonies. Honestly, she’s the most delightful time-suck in the world. Going to hang out with her is a joyful black hole of baby love. No regrets.

Plus, I did a fairly good job at being productive before that, having managed to pull together a readable version of Chapter One of Under the Midday Moon in time for the Writing Gang meeting (it took me working on it through my lunch break and submitting it the day of the meeting — thank baby Jesus for deadlines, without which I would get nothing done). I’ve been having a hard time knowing where to begin with this story, but eventually figured that it was better to start somewhere rather than not putting words down at all. The resulting Chapter One was still not the right place to start, but the Gang offered some great feedback that now has me thinking of new scenes and perhaps a better place to begin. I couldn’t be where I am without having put those words down, so yay!

In terms of the physical, I managed to do two out my required three days. I absolutely could have fit that third day in there, but didn’t. Turning on the TV without specific purpose (eg., having a specific show to watch) is a problem for me. It’s easy to let a lot of valuable time vanish that way.

No work was done on the poetry or the financial side of things. *le sigh*

Things to do in the coming week:
– Write Chapter Two of Novel
– Walk/Run at least three days this week & at least 2 miles each day (1/3 down)
– Make a list of poems I want to include in the collection
– Make edits to two of the poems I know I want to include
– Contact Apple store or computer guys and get data transferred from the old computer to the new one (may require giving up my computer for a few days, hard to do when I’m in the midst of wanting to write)
– Contact my sisters accountant to find out about setting up an IRA
– Do yoga (three sun salutations minimum) each morning before work (1/5 done)

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Anyway, how have you been and how are you doing?

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.]
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Second verse, same as the first…

Two walks were stashed under my belt this week (the second one was a bit rough, as it not only included intervals of running, but there were hills involved), and I got three days of morning yoga in. So, I’ve got the baby steps going in terms of physical activity.

Nothing else got accomplished this week. Again. I’m choosing not to beat myself up, however, because my day job was particularly stressful in terms of projects that need to get done on a deadline and so forth. I just needed the mental vacation when I went home at night. It was a good thing.

Things to do in the coming week:
– Contact Apple store or computer guys and get data transferred from the old computer to the new one (may require giving up my computer for a few days)
– Write Chapter One of Novel
– Walk/Run at least three days this week & at least 2 miles each day
– Make a list of poems I want to include in the collection
– Make edits to two of the poems I know I want to include
– Contact my sisters accountant to find out about setting up an IRA
– Do yoga (three sun salutations minimum) each morning before work

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How are you all, mis amigos? Have a good weekend?

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.]
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"The day mispent, the love misplaced, has inside it the seed of redemption."

~ Kay Ryan, Say Uncle

Work toward three out of my four main goals were a bust last week. No progress was made toward my novel, compiling my poetry manuscript, or gathering the tails of my finances together. “Write First” did not happen at all, and a part of the problem is if I’m at home, I tend to get too distracted to write. So, getting out to the coffee shop is where I need to be. Also, I tend to write more when there’s pressure, so I’ll be throwing down a bunch of words once my next Writing Gang event looms in a couple of weeks.

I did, however, manage to walk three days this week (with Sunday’s walk being a nice long 4 miles) and did two mornings of yoga. I can already feel how much happier my body is, just from this small beginning. Just walking is good for now, because I don’t want to progress too fast and injure myself. But I’m thinking I could start some interval running later this week or this beginning of next, which will get my started on the “Run Three Miles” goal.

Main things to do in the coming week:
– Contact Apple store or computer guys and get data transferred from the old computer to the new one (may require giving up my computer for a few days)
– Write Chapter One of novel
– Walk/Run at least three days this week & at least 2 miles each day
– Make a list of poems I want to include in the collection
– Make edits to two of the poems I know I want to include
– Contact my sisters accountant to find out about setting up an IRA
– Do yoga (three sun salutations minimum) each morning before work

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How did your week go? Did you meet your goals?

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. Feel free to comment here or there.]
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Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama, by Alison Bechdel

Are You My Mother? is a meta-memoir in graphic novel format, which on the surface is about Bechdel’s mother. However, it is also about Bechdel’s therapy process, her relationships with her lovers, the history of psychonanalysis (particularly in regards to Donald Winnicott), Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse, and the act of writing memoirs itself and how it effects the lives of those you write about.

This book has layers upon layers. How we feel about the past and our family is not linear. Disparate events, having no immediate relation to one another in reality, come together in out mind and combine into an emotional arc. The narrative here explores and loops, more like a thesis than a story. Sometimes Bechdel presents a conversation with her mother, then drifts away to talk about Winnicott’s work and writing on to a few scenes of her in therapy sessions, only to come back later to that same conversation with her mother, which now has a new light based on the new information.

The tone of the narrative is analytical, and Bechdel seems to be distanced from her own history as she tries to put the pieces together. There is no melodrama here. Bechdel neither condemns nor idolizes her mother in these pages. Nor does she condemn nor idolize herself.

One of the major themes of this book comes from Winnicott and his work on self-other, specifically how the mother becomes the self for babies and vice versa, as well as the concept of mirroring. I remember thinking while reading how strange it was that Bechdel was writing a memoir about her mother that turned out to be more about herself. But as I continued and learned more about Winnicott’s work on self-other and mirroring, this began to make perfect sense. Are not memoirs truly about the self, being from our own perspective anyway? And if as children we incorporate the mother into the self, then by writing about herself, Bechdel is also writing about her mother. This book seems to be a way for her to disentangle her self from her mother.

You can see in the image below an example of her art, where after finding a sequence of photographs of how she performed literal mirroring of her mother as a baby. She’s placed them in what she perceived was the correct sequence and has drawn them into the comic. Overlaid with the images, she narrates her own actions as a baby, while she quotes from Winnicott’s work on mirroring, and incorporates part of a phone conversation with her mother. Many, many layers, all in just two pages.

Bechdel-Are you my mother?

Another aspect of mirroring is revealed in the ways Bechdel projected her need for mothering onto her therapists and her lovers. Behavior that is only understood after the fact, through this kind of analysis.

I was deeply fascinated by this book, which may not have moved me emotionally, but had the gears of my mind churning. I’m sure reading it again would reveal new layers to the narrative, new understandings. And now now that I’ve read this book, I’m dying to read her first memoir about her father, Fun Home (which she discusses in Are You My Mother?). If this is a sign of the quality of her work, I definitely want to read more.

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.]
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What I'd Like to Accomplish in 2013

I’m doing this a little different. While I liked my Massive List of 2012 goals (everything was together!), it was a little unfocused, allowing me to hop through willy-nilly. Instead I’m going to try working with primary goals (those that must be accomplished first) and secondary goals (things I would like to get done at some point, but only after I’ve made progress on my primary goals). If I can complete these four primary goals in 2013, I will be a very happy lady.

Primary Goals
1. Finish a coherent draft of Under the Midday Moon (my no-longer-untitled werewolf novel)
The spirit of this goal would be to submit a new chapter to each meeting of my writing group and thus produce a novel I can edit and feel comfortable sending out for beta reads. Using the writing group meetings as a way to break it up is a good way to keep me progressing.

I’ve worked on this one a number of times, beginning with some scenes posted online and with a previous Nanowrimo attempt, which provided me some good exploratory pages as I tried to figure out where I wanted to go with it. Since then, I’ve been pondering and been doing some mental stewing on the novel. I’ve decided to add another character point of view to the mix and have more clear ideas of the challenges my characters will need to face. The only thing causing me to hesitate at this point is that I don’t have Claire’s voice, which would give me the launch point into the novel. I don’t want to do a ton

Accomplishing this will require me to, as whipchick so wisely put it, “Write First,” which means before I do anything else (TV, reading, websurfing). I’m pretty sure I can pull this off, if I stick to that motto.

2. Work up to running three miles
I really, really, really, really, really want to do this. I’ve tried and failed to complete the Couch-to-5k program, and part of it was because the increases were too quick and partly because my head gets in the way (from “I don’t feel like it” to I can’t!”). Listening to music while I run will help some, and I’m also trying another version of the Couch-to-5k via an iPhone app. The app alerts me as to when to start and stop the running intervals, which takes the metal calculations out of it. I can just listen to my music and do as I’m told.

If anyone has any advice on how to beat the mindf*ck while running, I would love to hear it. I may just start with some affirmations for the time being.

3. Submit a chapbook- or full-length collection of poetry for publication
I have enough poetry written to do this. So it’s just a matter of selecting the poems and putting the package together. I know of one chapbook that’s open for submissions this month, so I’m going to start there. I plan to also submit a larger manuscript to a poetry book publisher that I’ve been looking at for a while. So that means two submissions in January/February.

I may have to follow up this submission with another manuscript in the middle of year, depending on the reply I get.

4. Address finances
This encompasses a number of factors that I may need to work on and adjust to as the year goes on. Essentially, I need to spend with in my means by sticking to a budget and set up a savings plan and making progress to pay off my debt, as well as begin an IRA or other retirement investment plan.

I would also like to earn an additional income from my poetry and fiction writing. I don’t have control over who chooses to publish my work, but I do have control over who I send it to. So, I plan to work toward sending my work to markets that pay something (rather than nothing) as my first choice.

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Secondary Goals
Fiction
– edit stories and submit them to paying markets (try for no less than 6 for year)
– finish Fay Fairburn 1st draft

Poetry
– perform morning poetry ritual at least six times per week
– submit new poems to paying markets (try for no less than 6 for year)
– begin work on my novel-in-poems idea
– finish 30 letter challenge
– post a new poem to wattpad as a part of The Poetry Project every week
– continue on my series of fairytale inspired poems

Events
– attend FogCon
– attend one additional convention
– attend and/or participate in 12 open mics/readings (1/month)
– attend poetry retreat
– 48 Hour Film Project

Finances/Employment
– create a system to track money spent/earned as writer and maintain receipts
– create a filing system that functions (which may mean I need to pull my mom in on this for help)

Exercise/Health
– do yoga five mornings a week (a minimum of three sun salutations each morning)
– keep using calorie counter, but more importantly try to incorporate healthier foods
– make appointments as necessary (don’t avoid doctors)
– participate in sunday/saturday hikes
– participate in Wharf to Wharf run (6 miles)

Inspiration
– adjust my perception of “having enough time,” because it’s not just about having enough, but using the time you have wisely
– meditate for at least ten minutes every morning after yoga & every night before sleep
– do a new set of affirmations every month
– go to monthly women’s circles or other spiritual meetings

At some point I would like to write a spec script and start making some short films, but that may be too much right now with everything else I already have on my plate, so that’s more of a tertiary goal.

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to either comment here or there.]