An Assortment of Five Things

1. I picked up my sister from the airport on Tuesday. She had just got back from visiting my grandmother in Anchorage, Alaska. She’s 90 years old and my sister and I started talking about how important it is to record her life in some way. I told her that I have photo copies of her homesteading journal (which I’ve been meaning to do something with for a long time) and we both agreed that it would be great to put together a kind of memoir. Likely we wouldn’t try to publish this, though we might put it as an ebook and make some print copies for family through LuLu or something. We just need to make sure we make steady progress on this and not let it be just one of those things we talk about.

2. Speaking of writing, while I was digging through my filing cabinet looking for the copies my grandmother found me, I noticed a stack of paper about an inch thick in one of the files. I couldn’t help but take it out and read it — turned out to be movie script. I started reading some of the pages.

My thought: What is this? Did I write this? I didn’t write this. There’s no way I wrote this. *keeps reading* Oh, my god. I DID write this. I can’t believe I wrote this.

Turns out that stack of paper was the crappy martial arts script I tried to write about a guy and a girl who train and go take part in a tournament in China. It is so, so bad and I’m sure chock full of cultural inaccuracies. This will never ever see the light of day.

3. I saw Pacific Rim and loved it. It was in truth long sequences of robots smashing kaju, which was stunning in its realization, as in jaw-dropped, me-sitting-up-straight-in-my-seat in awe stunning. Beautifully wrought action sequences. It also had characters I like and story that dealt with countries and cultures working together for a common goal (that, importantly, did not revolve around good ol’ US of A saving the day). Rinko Kikuchi is wonderful and I will now be looking to watch every movie she has ever been or will be in. So, yay! I’m so glad I saw this one in theaters.

4. Also, in movies, I recently purchased Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated, a fascinating art project, in which curator Mike Schneider asked artists from around the world to animate sections of George A. Romero’s 1968 classic, Night of the Living Dead. All of the sound for the original movie is the same, the only difference is that the visual element has been changed (which can be done because the original movie is in public domain). Every minute or so, a new animation style flashes on the screen. It’s a little confusing at first, but quickly becomes hypnotizing to watch. A very cool art collaboration (with zombies!).

5. I went to a Curvy Girls Fashion Show (Curvy Girls is the name of a store in Santa Clara). It was just so cool to see a dozen women of varying shapes and sizes, bravely sporting lingerie walk down this make shift runway, while everyone in the audience cheered them on. Good feelings. Also some really cute stuff, costumes and some day ware too, so I may have some shopping to do soon.

Five Things to Do Instead of Being Jealous of Your Favorite Author

Writers Block

Or, How I Learned to Stop Lamenting and Enjoy the Process

I managed to get myself into a funk last Friday, I was finding myself despairing over my rarely completed to-do lists and my languishing novel, which is suffering through first draft blues. As much as I keep plugging away at the book, there is a deep, ugly, grumbling that believes I’ll never finish the novel or any novel and even if I do, none of them will be worth reading.All this tied into the fact that I had picked up 17 & Gone by Nova Ren Suma (my review is here), which was blowing my mind with awesome in terms of both writing style and storyline. Normally, I don’t bother with being jealous of my fellow authors, but on this particularly day, I felt it and it layered onto my anxieties. I began to spiral into doom-gloom with “I’ll never write like this, never this good” and “My writing sucks” and “I’ll never inspire or move someone the way the writing of this author does for me.”

Dwelling on this kind of stuff is less than helpful and can lead to an avoidance of writing and/or feeling blocked when staring at the blank page. At least, I know this can happen for me. So here are a few things I’ve done and that others can do to let go of all the negative gobbledygook.

1. Remember that Every Voice Isn’t the Same

I can thank my mom for reminding me of this when I was despairing on Friday and it’s important. No two voices are the same. Every writer has their own stories to tell and their own way of telling it. Therefore, it’s not necessarily an issue of better or worse, but just about being different.

Just because one author writes an amazing book, doesn’t mean that your own story, words, and thoughts are not valuable in their own right. If you have a story to tell, then tell it. Your words are unique to you, and chances are someone will find them valuable.

2. Keep in Mind that Drafts are Called “Rough” for a Reason

I think Anne Lamott says it best in her essay, “Shitty First Drafts” (link to a pdf). Most drafts suck the first time around, and they many continue to suck after the second or third go throughs, but somehow a good story gets drawn out in the rewriting/editing process.

It doesn’t really how many books an author has published or sold, or how great their writing, chances are that author has been through bouts of despair and flailing over the suckage of their own writing at various stages of the process. For an excellent example, check out Libba Bray’s fantastic post on writing despair.

So, be gentle with yourself. Be forgiving of your early mistakes. Be forgiving of your later mistakes. You have to work through each mistake to learn how to write, and every word you write gets you to the next one. You can’t get to the finished story/book/poem if you don’t walk through the tangled, mangy woods of the first (and sometimes second, third, fourth, etc.) drafts.

3. Do a Writing Analysis on the Book

So you’ve found a book you love, with writing you adore, with delightful worldbuilding, compelling characters, and a smooth plotline. Instead of feeling inadequate in all its glory (as I did), use this as an opportunity to learn something.

Once you’ve finished the book take a look at what it was about it that made you love it. What is the plot structure or how it launched immediately into the fray? What it the eloquent scene descriptions? How about how the characters were portrayed?

Create a list of what worked for you and what didn’t. What techniques can you use to improve your writing? What can you try to avoid?

I don’t tend to get too heavy handed with these sorts of analyses, as I don’t want to overshadow what naturally comes out when I’m writing and it’s important not to try to force your writing to fit a mold that doesn’t work. But I’ll often keep these kinds of lessons sitting in the back of my mind while I write and will draw on them when I’m challenged on how to handle a certain aspect of the story.

4. Practice Celebrating Your Fellow Writer’s Successes

Both Justine Larbalestier and Seanan McGuire have posts about how life, art, and publishing are not a zero sum game. One writer or artists success doesn’t take success away from you.

I’ve heard some people say that books like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey should never have been published and lamenting about how many people were taken in by these horrible books. But my sister hated reading, mostly because high school taught her to, and it wasn’t until she read Twilight that she became a reader. That book series taught her that reading could be fun, and that enjoyment has led her to read a multitude of other books in a variety of genres.

What authors like Stephanie Meyer and E.L. James have done is manage to tap into their enjoyment of their readers in such a way that lots and lots of people wanted to read their books. They may not be perfect books, but I salute both authors for their success. Hats off to them, and I’ll keep writing the stories I feel compelled to write.

It’s even easier to salute the writers you love, because their success means more great books for you to read.

But more importantly, if you’re sending out joy and good wishes, then you’re not bogged down by jealousy. Personally, I find it much harder to write when I’m in a fowl mood, so keeping positive (if I can) helps me.

5. Just. Keep. Writing.

Just that. Keep writing.

There’s a momentum to the writing process. I find the more I write, the easier it is to keep writing. If I stop and let myself fall into a mood, it just makes it that much harder to come back to the blank page.

And whatever else is going on around you, whoever is on the bestsellers list or winning awards, one thing you know you can control is the work you put into your own stories and and effort you put into making them the best they can be. That’s a powerful thing.

How do you handle little writing jealousies? What do you do to keep from despairing about your writing?

I've been rejected. Yay!

Thing the First
Yesterday I received a rejection on the poetry collection I sent to Toad Lily Press.

My response: “Well, that’s disappointing. But thank god.”

To which my mom was quite astonished and I proceeded to enthusiastically explain to her about the importance of SASEs, how not putting one with your submission could very well mean having your submission thrown out without having it read, how I had spent the last several weeks flailing, because I was sure I had forgotten to include said SASE with my submission.

So, um, yeah, HUGE relief that I didn’t make the idiotic mistake of forgetting to include a SASE, so much so that it soothed the sting of the rejection quite a bit.

No, seriously, I can’t tell you how stoked I am that I included the SASE.

Thing the Second
Looking over my 2013 goals this week reminded me that I wanted to try to get to 12 spoke work/open mics/author readings this year, and thus far I hadn’t. In general, I just want to be engaged with live performances, from spoken word to stage plays to music, all of which inspires me in different ways.

So, I started looking around for what’s in the area and found that Poetic Justice Wednesdays was going on at the Fahrenheit Bar in San Jose. I dropped in (after convincing my sister she had no choice but to join me) and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was impressed by the skill of the poets and musicians who presented, their lips tumbling truths into the microphone. It’s the kind of impressive performances that intimidate me a bit, because I don’t feel good enough to do the same. But I’ll get myself up there someday soon.

 

Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either her or there.

2013 Goals Assessment

Inspired by whipchick, I’d thought I’d take a look at my year long goals and assess how I’m doing overall.

Primary Goals

1. Finish a coherent draft of Under the Midday Moon
Progress is perhaps a little slower than I hoped, but it’s still progress. Not sure that I’ll actually finish the entire draft by the end of the year, but I just might, especially if I pick up the pace a bit.

2. Work up to running three miles
Again, progress is slow, but steady. I’m feeling myself grow stronger week by week and I’m certain I can DO this. *believes*

3. Submit a chapbook- or full-length collection of poetry for publication
Done! Well, sort of. After sending the submission out, I realized that I might have forgotten to include an SASE, a profoundly stupid and newbie mistake. If I did forget, it doesn’t really count, since it wouldn’t be legitimate submission. This sucks. But never fear, I have every intention of sending out another manuscript to another publisher before June, so as to have this officially done.

4. Address finances
Complications have sort of sidetracked my intentions to start up an IRA or retirement savings account. There’s still time for me to start something up by the end of the year, but for the moment I’m putting this aside.

However, the second aspect of this goal was to start earning some money from my writing. I can’t control that entirely, but I can submit my work to paying markets on a regular basis, which I’m working on.

(A rather long list of secondary goals can be found here.)

What I’ve Learned So Far and/or Could Improve Upon

Bite Sized Pieces – Big goals can be a bit overwhelming, so the weekly goals has helped me break things down into little pieces that I know I can accomplish. This way I know that each week forward progress gets made in some way or another.

Plan for What’s Doable – That said, it’s equally important to make sure the list of weekly goals is doable. I have a life beyond my writing, family and friends I want to hang out with, trips to take, events to go to, errands to run, and downtime that needs to be had, so I try to make sure that the weekly goals I set are doable from a practical stand point: Do I really have time to do these things, assuming I use my time wisely? The answer is always yes. It doesn’t mean I always get the list done (in fact, more often than not, I don’t), but it means I could do it.

Accountability – Whenever the fantastic Kima Jones posts on twitter about her writing she always uses the hashtag “accountability”, and I love that. Hold yourself accountable, because no one else will. You’re life is what you make of it and the effort you put it. So, while my weekly goal posts are always public and I do get some kind feedback, it really comes down to my own sense of being accountable. It’s really about making choices, such as getting some writing down before turning on the TV or video game, which is something I personally need to work on.

How are you doing with your goals? What have you learned or what could you do to be better about meeting those goals?

Cross-posted to my website. You are welcome to comment either here or there.

A Writing Gang Retreat

At a previous Writing Gang meeting, I said, “You know what I really want to do is create our own writing retreat. Just go away somewhere peaceful for the weekend and write with you guys.” I said in in the way you say things you hope will happen without actually expecting them to happen.

But my Gang, being the awesome individuals they are, said, “Yes! Yes, let’s do it!” And they started planning for the perfect weekend and finding the perfect location, and next thing I knew I was spending a weekend away with my Writing Gang, relaxing and creating words.

We carpooled down to Cambria on Friday afternoon and checked in to the Bluebird Inn, a cozy little place with some beautiful gardens that we explored (in the pic below, you can see my Gang in the lower right photo).

Bluebird Inn Gardens

That night we hunkered down in the hotel room, sipped wine out of plastic cups, and performed our regular critique session on work that we submitted to the group over the previous week. As usual there was a lot of positive feedback all around and good questions asked and great concerns raised.

The next morning we each created our own magnet poetry on the side of the hotel room heater. Then we sat at some tables outside to do our first “workshop” session. My prompt was to look through an art book (several of which I hauled down to Cambria with me) and find an art piece they found inspiring, then write for at least 30 minutes on whatever the art inspired you to write. I wrote a poem and other thoughts in response to “The Immaculate Conception” by Giambattista Tiepolo.

Magnet Poem
Journal Page

After writing and sharing our words, we took a walk along Cambria’s main street to Sandy’s Deli & Bakery, where we noshed down on some fantastic sandwiches (in fact, it was so good, we decided to return the next day for more tasty eats).

Victoria then presented her workshop prompt, which focused on creating unique metaphors. (Apparently, she keeps an ongoing journal of metaphors and similes that she loves — something I find rather awesome.) She presented a series of topic/object notecards, such as hands, eyes, lips/mouth, feelings, etc., all the sorts of things you would need to find a metaphor for. Then she presented another set of notecards with a series of random nouns and words that she had asked us for the night before. These ended up being very random as we had a lot of fun throwing down words from conversations or jokes that cropped up on our trip, which included bluebird, Liquid Love, cheesy, tick, shmurmur (a word our friendly neighborhood poet, Lorenz, invented that means a loud, indiscreet whisper), and prostate, among others. We were then given a random set of each and were asked to use one of the random words

In one of my metaphors was “His anger was as inflamed and raw as his prostate.” The others came up with some fantastic metaphors and in general it was a lot of fun to see the unusual directions that people were able to take them based on our random words.

Our third workshop prompt, from Amelia, was given to us as we walked back toward our hotel. She told us to watch the people around us and to find a person we thought interesting. Then later that evening we were to write a scene or story that imagines their back story.

On our way back, I spotted an old school house that had been converted into an open studio and gallery. I adore repurposed buildings and had to go inside, where I met the wonderful Patricia Griffin. She’s an artist that works with clay and I had a lovely conversation with her about art and writing and the history of the school house. It brightened my day just a little more and her work is gorgeous. She starts by partially firing the clay and then painting it, at which point she scrapes back the paint into designs that resemble old wood cut art.

Also on main street we found the Piedras Blancas Light House Lens, which had been constructed in 1850 in France. When it was retired it was preserved and put on display in Cambria. Really cool piece of history.

Piedras Blancas Light House Lens

We took a break in the afternoon and drove up to Moonstone Beach, where we walked along the boardwalk and poked anemonemones (spelled how we were pronouncing it) in the tide pools and saw lots of squirrels feeding on the seaside plant life, all while the sun was going down.

Moonstone Beach

We wrapped up the night by completing Amelia’s prompt, finishing the critique session from the night before, and drinking lots of wine.

Sunday morning was slow moving, but we managed to fit in a final workshop session. Yvette decided to focus on settings for her prompt, instructing us to select a season and writing scene, describing the setting in as much detail as possible while using all five senses. As an extra challenge, she wanted us to try and incorporate one of the metaphors we created from the day before.

One the whole it was a relaxing and productive weekend. I got about 1,000 fiction words written and several drafts of poems down. More importantly, I feel refreshed from being away from my regular routine and creatively energized. I’m looking forward to getting back into my regular writing and hope we can make our Writing Gang Retreat a yearly event.

Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.