The Bio Meme

Apparently the rules are: You comment, I give you an age (please tell me how old you are, or risk having to time-travel to find out the answers) and you respond to the meme questions with what applied to you back then, and what’s true now.

The lovely wordweaverlynn gave me: 16, which was 1996 and I was a Sophmore/Junior in high school.

I lived in:
I’m trying to remember if my family made the transition from Willowbrook St to the mountain house before or after I was sixteen. It maybe have been during that year, because I remember my parents having to drive down the backside of mountain, bouncing over potholes in the dirt road and then drop the youngest off at elementary school, me off at high school, and the middle kids off at middle school – in that order.

Living in the mountain house was an interesting experience, not only for the drive, but also for the mountain folk, giant spiders, occasional fire warnings, snow, horses and wild dogs, and general sense of disconnection from town.

Now:
I live in an apartment with my good friend. It’s my first on-my-own-adult-home and I’m very happy there, in part because I was lucky to get the end apartment, which seems to have it’s own backyard. After being here, I don’t think I could live in the mountains again and having to deal with driving down HWY 17 and all the hassle of not living in town.

I drove:
Nothing. I didn’t even have a license, let alone a car until after I was 18. It’s was public transport all the way, baby.

Now:
I’ve recently sold my Susy Subaru Forester for M’Lady Cavalier. M’Lady is doing well by me so far.

I was in a relationship with:
Myself. I had a few crushes and some good buddies, but no romantic relationships.

Now:
Same. It was just me enjoying being with me.

I feared:
Being mocked, being made fun off, being embarrassed, being unloved, having no friends. I transitioned friendships every year of high school. It was like my friendships reset every summer and I had to start over at the beginning of the school year. I always had friends, but I was also always adapting myself to the new set of friends in an attempt to make sure I fit in.

It’s why I’ve always had a problem watching movies that rely on embarrassment humor (think Meet the Parents). If a character is being humiliated in some way, either from acting stupid or being mocked, I’ve been known to cover my face while cringing of even run from the room so as to not have to face it.

Now:
Embarrassment is still a thing with me, but not as much. I know how to process it better now, and my focus has shifted from friendships to career. All my fear of embarrassment and being mocked is now in relation to my writing and tied up with the main fear of failing as a writer.

I worked at:
Oh, I don’t know. I kind of worked at school, but not with much effort. I kind of worked at friendships. I only worked at art or writing when I felt like it, which wasn’t much. I just remember spending most of my time hanging out with friends. So maybe that’s what I was working at, trying to fit in.

Now:
So, so many things, including my day job and trying to be a working writer and trying to be healthy and be a good friend and be responsible about adult things like paying rent and more than I can seem to fit in a day.

I wanted to be:
An artist, as in painter. Though I think about that time I was starting to become disillusioned with that idea, as I realized I didn’t have the kind of dedication to really hone the craft or be creative in a way that would stand out. About that time, I was starting to shift my interest into becoming a writer.

Now:
A lover of life everyday in every way. And, yeah, a prosperous writer, too.

Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.

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